What is a relationship? It is interaction between people over a period of time. This can be either positive or negative.
A complex way of defining this is,
“Social relationship” is characterized by, mutual orientation of each to others. Its content may be of the most varied nature: conﬂict, hostility, sexual attraction, friendship, loyalty or economic exchange. ……… “
With the relationship a person constructs a sense of identity in relation to family, people, cultural practices, gender, social class, social/political systems, sexuality, geographic location and physical and mental abilities.
In a successful relationship,
Individuals share common goals and objectives, respect each other’s views and opinions. A sense of trust is important. Individuals are attached to each other. Transparency plays a pivotal role in interpersonal relationship. It is important for an individual to be honest and transparent.
When we are deprived of relationship, we begin to self-destruct through depression, self-doubts, and many more problems.
In a relationship there are,
1. How we view the relationship.
2. How the other person(s) views the relationship.
3. What we want in the relationship.
4. What the other person(s) wants in the relationship.
The phases of relationship are contact, involvement and intimacy. Over a period of time it may deteriorate and finally dissolve, if it is not maintained.
But we cannot shrink away from relationship; human beings cannot live in isolation because Life is relationship and is relationship in action. Our problem is understanding of relationship. If we understand relationship then we can meet life fully.
“…………..Relationship, surely, is the mirror in which you discover yourself. Without relationship you are not; to be is to be related; to be related is existence. You exist only in relationship; otherwise you do not exist, existence has no meaning. It is not because you think you are that you come into existence. You exist because you are related; and it is the lack of understanding of relationship that causes conflict……………..”
“…………….......we use relationship merely as a means of furthering achievement, furthering transformation, furthering becoming. But relationship is a means of self-discovery, ......………….. ..........To understand myself, I must understand relationship. Relationship is a mirror in which I can see myself. ……………” ------ (J.K)
Moving to a New City
There was a person coming to a new village, relocating, and he was wondering if he would like it there, so he went to the zen master and asked: do you think I will like it in this village? Are the people nice?
The master asked back: How were the people on the town where you come from? “They were nasty and greedy, they were angry and lived for cheating and stealing,” said the newcomer.
Those are exactly the type of people we have in this village, said the master.